Almost  17 years ago, I was a new college graduate ready to take on the world the way most college graduates do.  I had a degree and in my mind, an entitlement to a job. Unfortunately, my perspective changed rather quickly when I realized that my “entitlement” landed me at a temporary staffing agency with a job wrapping gifts in a department store for minimum wage. The most disheartening feeling to me at that time was to realize that four years of education was not going to land me the job of my dreams.

Luckily, a good friend had a connection within a New York City government agency.   With her help, we were both hired in entry level positions.  Here I was a college graduate, back home living with my parents, car payment and earning $19,451 annually.   Good times…NOT!!!  But what I did realize was that degree was only one requirement to get the types of positions that I wanted, the experience was the other requirement and I did not have it.

I waited the 6 months probationary period and began applying for every job that I “felt” that I was qualified for and of course, that paid more money!  Luckily I had a great supervisor because she had to sign a form for each promotional opportunity that I applied for. While I don’t know the number of jobs that I applied for before finally getting that promotion, I do know that  many trees were used with all of the forms signed!!

That experience alone taught me something that I think has helped me to achieve a great level of success.  I’ve learned to position myself and think ahead of today.  I’ve humbled myself enough to know that I was not entitled to anything because of milestones in my life.  The hard work never ends and each milestone is only the beginning.

What good are your gifts in leadership if you don’t use them to multiply the talents in others?

To many, my life is full of many accomplishments.  I have been fortunate to hold great jobs in the public and non-profit sectors and I’ve positioned myself to network with those that I can partner with.  What people don’t see are the years of hard work, sleepless nights and personal sacrifices that I’ve made to reach certain professional milestones.  What they’ve also not seen are the low points, failed attempts and scars that I’ve encountered while climbing the “success ladder.”

Even with all of the not so happy moments, I’ve been extremely fortunate and not only because of my accomplishments.  In the beginning of my career, I had the pleasure of working for great supervisors – many of whom served in the military.  They all projected one unique thing in the workplace – they were equally great leaders.   They trained their staff to replace them in future years.  In my mind, I equated that to their military training.   They were never intimidated by someone trying to “take” their job or sharing their knowledge because it was always about the team. If one succeeded, we all succeeded. If we did our individual parts and played our roles well, we would eventually move up in ranks.   As I followed that, I was able to move up without much effort.  Things were so great, I often did not want to move if that meant leaving my current leadership.

But something occurred during one of my leaps.  During my first major management position in my 20s, I walked into a lion’s den.  Everything that I had learned from all of these great leaders became a test, and one that oftentimes seemed insurmountable.   What a reality check it was for me, still young in both age and experience, to realize that not every manager is a leader.   No matter how much I tried to do a great job, my “leadership” was unappreciative of my work with accusations of me wanting her job and  not understanding what my roles was.  That to me was extremely confusing because it was always prefaced with “you do a great job, I can’t complain about that.”  This was not my norm or an office culture that I was used to.  But young and inexperienced still in the world of management, I did what any sane person would do, I called my old leaders for guidance.  I needed to know what I could do differently, how to make sure this does not affect my team and how to not fail at this! I also needed to know that there will just be some people that I can’t please no matter how great the work. I’m so thankful they were there for me.

As I’ve matured and developed as a leader, I’ve been able to openly recognize my faults and use them to change the way I approach situations.  I’ve been able to lean on  people that have helped me to walk through some really tough moments.  I’ve been able to also lean on those same people to help celebrate in those accomplishments.   But most importantly, I was able to take bits and pieces of my former managers’ leadership styles, as well as those that I admire, to become the leader that I believe that I am today.